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Crazy funny documentaries: DARKON and TREKKIES
Documentaries are often Pretentious, and Boring, and Boringly Pretentious. They feature breathless tales of corruption and woe about something we should feel horribly guilty about, so much so that we...
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Three random airplane movies: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Anybody who’s a fan of Clint Eastwood‘s spaghetti westerns knows that THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY is one of his best films ever. Clint hardly says a word the entire thing. It’s like the first 30...
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The Red Pen of Doom dissects every Batman movie IN HISTORY
Here is my take on every Batman movie known to man except for THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, because I don’t want to spoil that for folks who haven’t seen it yet. Fire up the time machine. BATMAN Do you...
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THE WALKING DEAD walks into Dumb Movie Land
Movies make people dumb. Not the people watching movies, unless that movie happens to be TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 5 or whatever, in which case yes, your LSAT scores will never be the same. No, I’m...
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Seven movie clichés that must be NUKED FROM ORBIT
Now that going to the movies more than once a year involves taking out a second mortgage to buy $9 popcorn and $7 Diet Coke and $11 tickets, you must pick your flicks wisely. I’ve already skewered my...
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Short film ROSA blows Hollywood away
So this studio works for years to produce ROSA, a beautiful little short about an apocalyptic android goddess with kung fu powers on loan from Neo, who’s busy not using them in the Matrix — oh, wait?...
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THE PROTOTYPE trailer is what movies should be
Now, sometimes a bad movie can fool you by putting together 3 minutes of good stuff — the only 3 minutes that don’t stink — into the trailer. Not this movie. You can feel that it’s going to be good,...
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Come closer, now, and whisper your MOST EVIL PLANS
My silly blog is now one year old, meaning it doesn’t just crawl anymore. No. It can (a) get to its feet by grabbing the couch, (b) chase teh kitteh all over the living room, (c) scribble all over the...
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007 villains: Getting rid of incompetent henchmen
Bond villains need all kinds of minions, right? Somebody has to feed the sharks, build the secret lairs, hide in hotel closets to attack 007 and all that. HOWEVER: You can’t just fire a henchmen, not...
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The colors of SKYFALL
Beautiful and interesting. Just like a song, or a good novel, all the pieces work together.
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ICE, ICE BABY as sung by the movies
Oh, this is brilliant. The classic ’90s song by Vanilla Ice, as sung by clips from various movies. For fans of this song, I took the original and put it under the lyrical microscope, line by line: ICE,...
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DESERT ROSE by Sting
No matter what you think of Sting — and you should think VERY WELL of him — he’s never boring. This video is part travelogue, part concert-montage. And it has yet to bore me. Related posts: Music Video...
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Six ways to fix NEVER GO BACK by Lee Child
Let’s say it: Lee Child has a Superman problem. His hero, Reacher, is beloved by fans for having the brains of Sherlock Holmes and the body of Conan the Barbarian. The man never gets outsmarted and is...
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OBLIVION swings for the fences and misses
Hear me now and believe me later in the week: OBLIVION is an interesting and beautiful movie that could have been classic. Why did it flop? Let’s look at the prime suspects: 5) Tom Cruise fatigue This...
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Why WORLD’S END ended with a wimper
On four different British Airways 747′s to India and back, I watched many, many movies. And it’s worth talking about them not in a “hey, this is out on DVD, so should you fire up Netflix?” kind of way,...
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Why THE LEGO MOVIE works like magic
Movies based on toys, or cartoons from the ’80s designed to sell toys, tend to suck like Electrolux. THE LEGO MOVIE is a happy exception to this rule. It’s worth talking about how they accomplished...
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Why the classic movie DUNE is a hot mess
I remember watching DUNE in the theater and thinking, “Whoah.” Then again, I was a whippersnapper with no taste when it first came out. So on Old Movie Night, we popped in DUNE and fired it up. Oh my....
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THE PROTOTYPE trailer is what movies should be
Now, sometimes a bad movie can fool you by putting together 3 minutes of good stuff — the only 3 minutes that don’t stink — into the trailer. Not this movie. You can feel that it’s going to be good,...
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Tiny film teaches us big honking writing tricks
Here’s an itty bitty film that’s crazy funny and extremely well done. Watch it, then let’s talk it over. So, here’s the thing. Drama is very simple, when you get down to it. Step 1: Create conflict,...
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Top 3 reasons why DEAR KITTEN won the interwebs
This is three minutes of film, via the Series of Tubes, that doesn’t have a single special effect or Michael Bay explosion. Yet it’s blowing up the Series of Tubes like nobody’s business, and not...
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